From Casper to Saw: Halloween on my Block

(Last Updated On: November 1, 2011)

I’ve lived on “Hysteria Lane” for a decade. Hysteria Lane is no stranger to drama. But on Halloween Eve, our neighborhood tends to come together, forgetting whatever FBI take down, drunken disagreement, faux Al Qaeda raid, America’s Most Wanted sting,  spouse swapping debacle or Nigerian banking scheme was bugging.

(Note: I’m not making this stuff up, suburbia is a jungle but that is another blog post)

When we first moved in the kiddos were all wee tots and Halloween was a friendly smiling ghost affair. Everyone had not-so-spooky decor and fairy and firemen costumes ruled the night.

Over the years however, things have changed. My, how they’ve changed.

Last night I was greeted by at least three Chuckies with scantily clad Sailor girls hanging off their elbows. Trash talking, grill wearing, “pimps” patrolled on ten speeds and sent their younger and cuter sibs in to get them more candy.

“More candy Bitch! Papa’s hungry!”

Oh Elmo, Oh Dora, where have you gone?!  Did you have any idea it would come to this?

Inside the houses it was a grim scene as well. I guess that’s what you get in an area so rife with set designers and out-of-work actors. One home cleared out the dining room and staged a full on crime scene. A convincing, half carved up corpse was splayed across the dining room table, blood pooling on the floor, assorted kitchen implements tagged and numbered on the tile. Even the candy dish was covered in police tape.

The frights were not all visual, either. After handing over full sized Snickers bars, one festive neighbor in a bloody wolf mask chased my 3 and 7 year old out of his house with a circular saw.

(Note: I do believe the blade cover was on the saw, but it was powered! Also, it might have been a large dremel but I wasn’t sticking around to check…)

Another neighbor made us walk through the whole house to get to the candy. She was dressed as a Zombie and dragged a rake behind her on her tile floor as she trailed us. A troll attacked us en route and we were caught up in some spider webs in the blacklit hallway. My three year old might have wet his pants.

Zombie decor and hacked off limbs abounded on Hysteria Lane this year and tricks were at at least as plentiful as the over abundance of treats.

I guess my neighborhood has grown up.

I kind of miss Casper.