I thought I’d heard it all when it came to reasons for missing school.
Injuries, illness, bad hair days, break-ups, boyfriends. Really, really, bad PMS.
But this was a new one.
I was attending a conference when my cell phone started to jiggle and buzz urgently and repeatedly. Note: This is the sort of thing that makes your heart stop for an instant when you are far from home.
Daughter: Help! Emergency!!!
Me: Is everything ok?
Daughter: No. I have a huge problem!!!!
Me: Okay… what is is?
Daughter: I look like Snooki!!!!!!
Up on stage, renowned speaker Brene Brown was opining about girlhood, confidence and shame. Up until the buzzing began, I’d been nodding my head, entranced. So hard to be a teen today. So much pressure.
Daughter: I’m an oompa loompa! Call me in sick! People will think I spray tanned!!!
I took a moment to think about it. I’ve warned my daughter repeatedly that less is more when it comes to the self tanner. So she did the sensible thing. Waited till I left home to test out that theory. Probably with MY very expensive self tanner.
Me: Yeah. Sorry about that. But I’m not calling you in Snooki, honey. Get some salt scrub and a loofa.
Daughter: Hey I know… Maybe daddy can take off from work and get me some more self tanner, like for my face? So I match?
I picture my husband calling in to his boss to explain this dire situation, “Yeah guys, I know the demo is in two days, but my daughter’s face doesn’t match her thighs. And she’s wearing really short shorts.”
Me: Daddy can buy you the loofa. Tonight.
Daughter: Okayyyyy. Fine……… 🙁 🙁 🙁
Me: Text me some pictures, would you? My friends kinda want to see how much you look like Snooki…
I’m not sharing the pics. They were not all that bad actually, and the Oompa Loompas really drive the point home better. Self tanner has a steep learning curve. Less is more. I’ve done the Snooki and the zebra myself.
Sometimes having a teenager is a little like having a toddler. It’s back to “natural consequences” and all that. So while I did not call her in Snooki, I also did not nag her about the towels she was about to stain. I figured worse came to worse, we could bleach the consequences right out of them.
Oh my goodness, funny! This is what lies ahead……
Good job, mom! I feel so bad for out girls having to fit in and look the part — I blame DWTS, too.
We’ve been through many trail-and-error scenarios with just about everything with our 17 yr old: too short short-shorts, hair coloring (from a blue streak to ‘ombre’), additional ear piercing, and the self tanner. I usually let her to try non-permanent things once (she had to earn the hole in her ear with straight A’s), and like you, live with the consequences of her choices.
Not all of this has been a pretty sight!
Hah! Teenagers-as-toddlers, stained towels, wanting to come home for the “littlest” things, not understanding ramifications for parents and work…you nailed it again.
Teenagers terrify me.
I lemon juiced my hair into a horrible orange color when I was her age. I feel for her, but you were right not to pull the Snooki card. For the record, I’m told that if you use a lot of body oil type moisturizer, it will lift the color off the skin – maybe a round of that and the loofa? Oh well, hopefully it won’t happen again…
Olive oil & salt or sugar body scrub does the trick! Makes a huge mess but lifts the color. Just for future reference, lol!
That’s awesome! Teenage girl drama… tell her she could be a spokesperson for a tanning company and get all the self tanner she wants if she dares 🙂
ahahahahaha…. ahahahahha… sorry i can not stop laughing! and the site of the oompa loompahs! more funny!! ahahaha… poor thing though we have all made these kinds of mistakes.. and it won’t be her first. you did well though
I my head, once I am past the preschooler age and my kids are more independent, parenting will get easier. I know you are probably laughing at me! right now I don’t know why I think that and I realize that thinking that way is totally insane! I admire how well you handled this situation with your daughter. Finding the “right” way to deal with difficult parenting situations is SO tough. I think it is great when you can let the kids let the natural consequences of the situation be the consequence instead of lecturing. I need to do more of that. 🙂
Hilarious! We’ve been through similar dire circumstances with our teens. My heart goes out to you!
Oh no! : ( I had no idea that self tanners could turn your skin orange. Good thing to note. Taking a deep sigh since I’m not near the teen years yet.