I’m taking break from my usual rant about overly sexual teen/tween costumes.
It’s like beating my head against the wall.
Honestly the problem is not going away and yes it is still on my mind as the mom of teen/tween girls, but I’d rather laugh than cry this year. Plus, I have a plan to deal with this issue.
If my daughters want to wear something entirely slutty and inappropriate, I will order a matching costume for me and hang out with them and their friends ALL NIGHT LONG.
It could be worse. I could threaten to wear one of these:
Sexy Scrabble Costume: Sends the message: I’m into Words with Friends with Benefits
Tap This Keg Costume Sends the message: I’m not looking for a guy wearing rose colored glasses. I’m looking for one wearing beer goggles.
Sexy Pinocchio Costume Sends the message: I’m your puppet. There is no other reason I’d buy this costume. Unless… I just wanted to be a real BOY.
Sexy Hotdog Costume Sends the message: I’m way into wieners.
Sexy Female Freddy Krueger. Sends the message: If you don’t think I’m hot, I will haunt your dreams and kill you!
Sexy Mutant Ninja Turtle Costume Sends the message: I will watch whatever stupid shows you watch, religiously, and go to all your fan club meetings with you if you will just be my boyfriend.
Sexy Raccoon costume Sends the message: I really don’t get this whole sexy thing. Also, I’m into dumpster diving.
Sexy Lumberjack Sends the message: “You got wood? I will chop it down!”
I found these costumes on BuyCostumes.com and PartyCity.com – two of the largest sites that my kids love to shop for costumes on. Although these ones suck, both sites also carry tons of awesome costumes and some great deals on those costumes. We’ll be ordering soon! If you do shop online, make sure to check for a coupon on RetailMeNot (there’s a widget in my sidebar if you need it!) before you order.
UPDATE:
I never should have posted this before my daughters came home from school. I’ve got a few more dumb costumes, courtesy of my tween and teenagers. With video. Apparently Yandy.com has all the really good sexy costumes. And the bad ones too.
Sexy Remote Control Costume Sends the message: I totally like getting my boobs buttons pushed.
Sexy Heinz Mustard Costume Sends the message: Your AD HERE. (How to make a buck when you can’t find a costume that cuts the mustard).
Wow. Those aren’t even real costumes. It’s like someone is being paid to think of everything under the sun, then put ‘sexy’ in front of it!
Bwahahahaha!!!! Wow, C – these are phenomenal. If you and your girls team up for mother/daughter slut costumes, I want pix!!!
Words with Friends with Benefits needs to be a real thing because it’s Just. Too. Funny.
Love it. Especially keg girl.
I’m speechless.
Also – you’re ridiculously clever.