This might shock you: I find it pretty hard to talk about myself. Or write about myself.
I can’t get over the feeling that nobody really cares. I don’t mean that in a woe is me, full of self pity kind of way. I mean it more practically. I’m really quite fascinating. I’m not at all bored with myself. It’s just that I’ve been to one too many parties with someone staring over my shoulder at the horizon, the minute the conversation turns to me and my life. Or coffee dates with friends whose problems and priorities trump mine. At family gatherings I feel like I have five minutes to talk about my stuff, at the end of which time my siblings can heave a sigh, and get back to the topics that really interest them. Them.
Even my husband would often rather discuss what he just heard on NPR than what I saw at the grocery store today. Who can blame him? NPR has some great storytellers!
I’ve learned to clam up.
This is inevitably “Hey you guys! Look at me!” baggage from being the youngest child. My coping mechanisms include the ability to tell a story quickly and well, and the prudence to shut my trap when I suspect nobody is interested.
Over the years I HAVE written about myself on my blog but it’s a struggle every time. I’ve learned how to relate to others. Most of the stories that I tell about me aren’t me so much as “we”. I don’t want to bore anyone. It’s gratifying when people find what I have to say relatable, and crushing when the halls and comments sections echo with silence.
Since starting my YouTube channel and signing with MakerMoms I’ve been urged to do more on camera. You know, just me. Talking about my life.
La la la.
Hello? Hello! Hey you guys?!!!
Ooo… that’s sorta scary. What if I rant and sound mad? What if I am boring? I can’t bring myself to do it, which of course is why I’ve been trying to find a way to do it. I’m nothing if not contrary like that. Maybe that could be my show? “Why I force myself to do uncomfortable things?”
I was thinking about this while sitting at my desk sorting through my purse yesterday. Handbags are my weakness. I utterly adore them. I collect them avidly and switch frequently. I could talk about them forever. It occurred to me that I should do a show about my handbags. Which is a bit of a cheat really. It gives me something popular to talk about that is NOT me.
As I sorted through the detritus of the week… the bracelet my 16 year old borrowed without asking that I later confiscated, the letter “P” book my 4 year old was so proud of that we could not snicker when he said “Look at my P book everyone!”, and the other assorted receipts, toys and almost empty favorite lipglosses, I had a lightbulb moment.
This really could also be about me. But it could be about you, too. And life in general. And fabulous, drool worthy handbags as well.
Are you ready to try it with me? I’m going to conduct my show as a Google Plus Hangout and if you’re in my circles, and you are on… I might invite you to go through your bag and share the story of its contents (and your week) with me and my followers as well.
We can do this, right?
Join me for the first show this Monday, Dec 3 at 12 noon. Or catch the show on my YouTube Momfluential Channel. I’ll be going through the contents of my bag and my week live as I switch over to the gorgeous, buttery Not Rational Charlie Handbag, pictured above.
Leave a Reply